poppyromanov (poppyromanov) wrote,


You know, for a world that demands direction, I certainly have
Wil I be a teacher? Will I go to France?

Really I don't know how smart I am -
and that above all else keeps me working and working hard.

I'm not sure I've got a good mind.
I'm not sure I reason well.

I know I can be as confused as anybody else.
I don't know how I'll do in advanced courses -

I don't know how I'll do on the next econ hourly.
I don't know if I could be a great debater.

And there are a million other things I don't know about my
     intellectual capacities.
Let's leave emotional ones alone tonight--they're in worse shape.

I want so much - to be versatile, charming, warm, deep, intelligent,
     accomplishing something, loving,
fooling around, giving instead of getting, cheery not driven, sure,
     not uncertain, possessing, not anticipating.
Tags: maggie nelson, poetry
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